I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
