put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
