hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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