She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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