woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
