There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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