Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize