i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
