I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
