your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
