don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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