to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
