Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
