Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize