She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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