You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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