Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
