State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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