He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My liver just had a heart attack.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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