the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
