plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
