How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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