Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Randomize
