Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
