I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
