I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
