Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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