he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
