I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
