i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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