I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize