he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
