would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
