that's an acceptable place to lick
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
