New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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