Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
