using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
