well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Your penis caused this!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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