Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
