Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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