Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
