I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
