My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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