I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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