Non-Jews are for practice
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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