I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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