remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Drunk is not a location!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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