i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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