You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
