Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
