he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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