I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
