That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
