That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
