we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
