2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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