Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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