it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
