they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
