Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
