its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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