So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize