Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
