direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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