I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
