Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize