i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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