forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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