If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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