What a fucking waste of an outfit
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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