whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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