youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
