I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize