Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
