I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
