I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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