he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
