Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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