Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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