It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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